“She is the gay shorthand for joy.”

- Rufus Wainwright

Lady Gaga, Madonna and cupcake cars. Enjoy.

This makes me unspeakably happy.

I’m not quite sure who the lovely lady on the right is… All I know is that Precious and Alexis Carrington Colby were in the same room at the same time.

The combined coverage of both Tiger Woods and the White House party crashers is making me go a little crazy. Now comes a simulation of the Woods incident from Chinese news! It sent me over the edge.

This poem is “My Country” by Dorothea Mackellar.

I just think it’s really pretty and I thought I’d share. So yeah, it’s about Australia and not the US…  Interesting that it makes me feel all Nazi motherland patriotic when it’s about another country on the other side of the world. One that I’ve never been to. Meh, it still works.

Just imagine beautiful Australian-accented people reading it while scenic vistas of forests and outbacks drift by. Yay Dreamtime.

The love of field and coppice,
Of green and shaded lanes,
Of ordered woods and gardens
Is running in your veins.
Strong love of grey-blue distance,
Brown streams and soft, dim skies -
I know but cannot share it,
My love is otherwise.

I love a sunburnt country,
A land of sweeping plains,
Of ragged mountain ranges,
Of droughts and flooding rains.
I love her far horizons,
I love her jewel-sea,
Her beauty and her terror –
The wide brown land for me!

The stark white ring-barked forests,
All tragic to the moon,
The sapphire-misted mountains,
The hot gold hush of noon,
Green tangle of the brushes
Where lithe lianas coil,
And orchids deck the tree-tops,
And ferns the warm dark soil.

Core of my heart, my country!
Her pitiless blue sky,
When, sick at heart, around us
We see the cattle die –
But then the grey clouds gather,
And we can bless again
The drumming of an army,
The steady soaking rain.

Core of my heart, my country!
Land of the rainbow gold,
For flood and fire and famine
She pays us back threefold.
Over the thirsty paddocks,
Watch, after many days,
The filmy veil of greenness
That thickens as we gaze.

An opal-hearted country,
A wilful, lavish land –
All you who have not loved her,
You will not understand –
Though earth holds many splendours,
Wherever I may die,
I know to what brown country
My homing thoughts will fly.

Best dressed at the 2009 Emmys:

January Jones. Hands down, she had no real competition. I gasped out loud when I saw her in this Versace vision. Just gorgeous. Oh, and that lady in the background with the white hat and Payless shoes gets a special award for just being there.

And what’s going on with those guys behind her in this photo? Circle jerk?

Things I will choose to remember about this years VMAs:

Madonna in her best Bumpit giving a heartfelt diva speech about Michael Jackson. The whole Michael Jackson tribute was nice and well done. Janet’s ”Scream” was a little underwhelming, but she brought it.

Pink and her crazy acrobat ass. Also, Shakira and Pink wore the same dress. Pink is awesome, so I’m shamed to say that I thought Shakira wore it better.

Lady GaGa and her insane fashions. She arrived in a bedazzled feathered neck brace with Kermit The Frog and then gave full Venice Phantom bloodiness during her ferocious performance. She changed 5 times, and by the end she had a white Christmas wreath/birds nest on her head. I almost lost my shit when she won the Best New Artist award in this:

She dedicated the award to “god and the gays.” Many people I know hate her purely as a matter of taste and I get that, but you’ve got to appreciate her for the outlaw fashions.

Beyonce realness all around. She gave an energetic performance, looked fabulous, and deservedly won Video of the Year while also becoming our patron saint of lost meaningless awards moments when she let little innocent Bambi Swift have hers.

Loosey goosey Lil’ Mama jumping the stage with Jay-Z and Alicia Keys, what a nutbag.

I laughed so hard when Jennifer Lopez came out. What is she doing there? She was as out of place as Eminem and P-Douchey. Is this 2002?

Oh, and Kanye West career suicide.

In the end, I think it was the best VMAs in years. Yay!

OMG. This is the best thing I’ve ever seen. This is from the recent Jerry Lewis Labor Day Telethon. I love Charo, and now I love her doing Rihanna. Ai Loca!

My eyes! My eyes are burning out of my skull!!! Who is this DIVINE creature?!? You say she is a famous soap actress by the name of Judith Chapman? Well, I love her now! Best dressed ANYWHERE!

Oh oh oh!!! Brenda Dickson was there too! Dreams do come true! Check out that eye:

You may remember her from countless youtube parodies:

Bored, bored, bored. Shopping, shopping, shopping. Balmain, Balenciaga, Pierre De Chardonnay. You name it, she bought it, she wore it!

-Miss Kiki DuRane

I love the studs and big shoulders trend that keeps popping up everywhere. So of course I’m really digging Madonna giving studded Balmain realness in her new music video. Lourdes is also in the video and is just marvine. That girl is gonna explode. It’s Liza all over again. Rocco can be Lorna.