This poem is “My Country” by Dorothea Mackellar.

I just think it’s really pretty and I thought I’d share. So yeah, it’s about Australia and not the US…  Interesting that it makes me feel all Nazi motherland patriotic when it’s about another country on the other side of the world. One that I’ve never been to. Meh, it still works.

Just imagine beautiful Australian-accented people reading it while scenic vistas of forests and outbacks drift by. Yay Dreamtime.

The love of field and coppice,
Of green and shaded lanes,
Of ordered woods and gardens
Is running in your veins.
Strong love of grey-blue distance,
Brown streams and soft, dim skies -
I know but cannot share it,
My love is otherwise.

I love a sunburnt country,
A land of sweeping plains,
Of ragged mountain ranges,
Of droughts and flooding rains.
I love her far horizons,
I love her jewel-sea,
Her beauty and her terror –
The wide brown land for me!

The stark white ring-barked forests,
All tragic to the moon,
The sapphire-misted mountains,
The hot gold hush of noon,
Green tangle of the brushes
Where lithe lianas coil,
And orchids deck the tree-tops,
And ferns the warm dark soil.

Core of my heart, my country!
Her pitiless blue sky,
When, sick at heart, around us
We see the cattle die –
But then the grey clouds gather,
And we can bless again
The drumming of an army,
The steady soaking rain.

Core of my heart, my country!
Land of the rainbow gold,
For flood and fire and famine
She pays us back threefold.
Over the thirsty paddocks,
Watch, after many days,
The filmy veil of greenness
That thickens as we gaze.

An opal-hearted country,
A wilful, lavish land –
All you who have not loved her,
You will not understand –
Though earth holds many splendours,
Wherever I may die,
I know to what brown country
My homing thoughts will fly.

Best dressed at the 2009 Emmys:

January Jones. Hands down, she had no real competition. I gasped out loud when I saw her in this Versace vision. Just gorgeous. Oh, and that lady in the background with the white hat and Payless shoes gets a special award for just being there.

And what’s going on with those guys behind her in this photo? Circle jerk?

Things I will choose to remember about this years VMAs:

Madonna in her best Bumpit giving a heartfelt diva speech about Michael Jackson. The whole Michael Jackson tribute was nice and well done. Janet’s ”Scream” was a little underwhelming, but she brought it.

Pink and her crazy acrobat ass. Also, Shakira and Pink wore the same dress. Pink is awesome, so I’m shamed to say that I thought Shakira wore it better.

Lady GaGa and her insane fashions. She arrived in a bedazzled feathered neck brace with Kermit The Frog and then gave full Venice Phantom bloodiness during her ferocious performance. She changed 5 times, and by the end she had a white Christmas wreath/birds nest on her head. I almost lost my shit when she won the Best New Artist award in this:

She dedicated the award to “god and the gays.” Many people I know hate her purely as a matter of taste and I get that, but you’ve got to appreciate her for the outlaw fashions.

Beyonce realness all around. She gave an energetic performance, looked fabulous, and deservedly won Video of the Year while also becoming our patron saint of lost meaningless awards moments when she let little innocent Bambi Swift have hers.

Loosey goosey Lil’ Mama jumping the stage with Jay-Z and Alicia Keys, what a nutbag.

I laughed so hard when Jennifer Lopez came out. What is she doing there? She was as out of place as Eminem and P-Douchey. Is this 2002?

Oh, and Kanye West career suicide.

In the end, I think it was the best VMAs in years. Yay!

OMG. This is the best thing I’ve ever seen. This is from the recent Jerry Lewis Labor Day Telethon. I love Charo, and now I love her doing Rihanna. Ai Loca!

My eyes! My eyes are burning out of my skull!!! Who is this DIVINE creature?!? You say she is a famous soap actress by the name of Judith Chapman? Well, I love her now! Best dressed ANYWHERE!

Oh oh oh!!! Brenda Dickson was there too! Dreams do come true! Check out that eye:

You may remember her from countless youtube parodies:

Bored, bored, bored. Shopping, shopping, shopping. Balmain, Balenciaga, Pierre De Chardonnay. You name it, she bought it, she wore it!

-Miss Kiki DuRane

I love the studs and big shoulders trend that keeps popping up everywhere. So of course I’m really digging Madonna giving studded Balmain realness in her new music video. Lourdes is also in the video and is just marvine. That girl is gonna explode. It’s Liza all over again. Rocco can be Lorna.

I wanna be at these parties:

Part 5:

The Red Hot Chili Peppers, Wikipedia, Beah Richards, Lisa Gay Hamilton, Kiki & Herb, The World According to Garp, Getting shoes in the mail, Wit with Emma Thompson, Judith Light, The Witches of Eastwick, The trash of Fergie, Jesus Camp, Fat Tyra, Broke poor-ass bitches from Compton, Drunk bowling, Dame Judi Dench, The word “rigmarole”, Beyonce’s Grammy dove performance a few years ago, Shaved Britney, Sister Wendy, Beverly Leslie, Gia Marie Carangi, Born-again clowns, The word “commode“, I don’t really like him – but there is something oddly appealing about Mark Ruffalo, Having Tupperware-like parties but with bondage gadgets, Xerxes from 300, Vera Farmiga, Beth Ditto, Amy Winehouse, Gerard Butler if he is naked and with a beard – not singing, Armless Persian trannies, Dolores Nancy, Lily Tomlin, Skunk smell, The name Roma, Males named Shannon, Rose McGowan and her machine gun leg in Grindhouse, The excitement I get when I think of a Bjork/Timbaland collaboration, Roses, Cheese and crackers, The cross dressing challenge this season on ANTM, Vanity Smurf, David Cronenberg, Sandra Bernhard, Nashville, Mutant children born parthenogenetically and sent to carry out the rage filled murders of their mother, The great Gazoo, I hate her soul but I kind of like Ann Coulter – the same way I like a hang-nail, Jake Ryan, Gloria Steinem, After the sadness that was Top Design – I now love Shear Genius, Mo’nique, Flavor of Love Charm School, Midge Potts, Benadryl, Ryan Gosling and Shareeka Epps in Half Nelson, Nappy Headed Hos, Barack Obama, Men On Films from In Living Color, Everything from In Living Color, Ross The Intern, Michelle Pfeiffer, The insanity that is Grease 2, Jewbacca, Africa by Toto, Aldo, Bette Midler, Thoughts of rehab, Judy Parfitt, Pride weekend, Sluts, Prudes, The First Wives Club, Ghost, Shrimp salad, The nice lady at Quiznos who gave me a free salad, Rihanna and that damn umbrella, Umbrellas, The word Somnolence, IKEA, Something about Seth Rogen gets me hot, And while we are on the topic of odd crushes – Tim Robbins does it for me too, The word and color Azure, Fanta Limón, Tapas, Gazpacho, Doing Google image searches, Just the Silver Surfer in that damn horrible movie, Blood oranges, Tiger lilies, John Travolta in musicals, Nell Carter, Wine, Pussy willows, The word Vichyssoise, Grey Gardens, Icelandair flight attendants, Kathy Griffin, The Spice Girls reunion, Joan Collins, Dynasty, William Zabka, Becky (Buckwild) from Flavor of Love Charm School, Live Earth, That Al Gore’s drug-addicted son was arrested while driving a Toyota Hybrid Prius, Pot, Krishna temples, Cat Stevens, Charlotte Rae, Make-up infomercials, Hey Paula, Greer Childers, Pam Ann, Sourdough, Pesto, Air Force Amy from Cathouse, Matt Damon, Versace, Brothels, Dr. Mehmet Oz, Hairspray, Katie Morgan, The Wiz, Eucalyptus, Zachary Quinto, Placido Flamingo, Laura Dern, Angela Lansbury, Scanning stations on car radios, Julie Taymor…

True happiness in visual form. Love Will Never Do (Without You) from Janet Jackson. Herb Ritts sunshine for us all. Look for a glorious Djimon Hounsou.

Today, here in the SLC, it was the hottest day of the year so far. Today also happens to be the 20th anniversary of the Spike Lee’s Do The Right Thing. A movie that defines the hottest day of the summer. It’s a favorite of mine and arguably Spike’s best movie.

Whether you love or hate Spike Lee I think he should be noted for presenting such a specific point of view about race issues that no one else had the balls to attempt. No one is doing shit like this. This was 20 years ago and it’s still intense and maddening. His style is so fresh and magnetic that I can’t help but like even his worst efforts. Do the right thing and see the movie.

It’s also responsible for one of the best opening credit sequences of all time. One that introduced us to Rosie Perez jamming the shit out to Public Enemy.